Just do it.

Bugs In My Morning Routine

Hello guys, welcome to my blog again.

I think I need to have a really strict morning routine.

My workdays work better when they start earlier.

Bugs and their solutions

The problem is that there is always something going wrong.

The idea is that I need to patch all of these “bugs” in my morning routine; if I do so, I’ll naturally flow towards my workday.

Bug 1: using my phone in the morning

Bug 1.a: because I feel like using it

When I wake up, I often feel like using my phone.

I want to check my messages, check what’s new on hacker.news, watch a YouTube video…

Obviously, this leads to two hours in the morning being wasted in either pointless conversation, or endless scrolling.

Solution

The solution for this bug is twofold:

  1. Turn off the phone
  2. Put a post-it note on the phone

The post-it says:

YOU CAN'T USE THE PHONE UNLESS:

1. You're dressed up
2. You prepared your work bag
3. You cleaned the appartment a little

Bug 1.b: because my girlfriend sent me a text

Right this morning, this happened; my laptop was open because I was listening to sweet Animal Crossing music to fall asleep last night.

I glanced at it and saw a notification of a text of my girlfriend. Obviously, I looked at it and answered… and then, it turned into a call…

After the call, naturally, I opened https://hacker.news, because that’s my current addiction.

Solution

The solution is to turn off communications (email, Signal, Discord, etc.) on my laptop before going to sleep.

Actually, ideally, I should turn off my laptop; I can use my phone to listen to music.

My laptop should be in my “work bag” in the evening, rather than next to my phone.

Bug 2: my girlfriend

Either she wants me to stay, or I want her to stay, or both.

Bug 2.a: she wants to go out

Very often, it happens, my girlfriend doesn’t feel like studying. She just wants to go out.

Issue is that I feel guilty of telling her: “no, I need to work, I’ll go out on another day”.

I feel like I’m wasting my life, that I’m a boring partner, etc.

I end up thinking too much about it, and sometimes changing my plans.

Bug 2.b: she wants to eat with me

In the morning, it’s common for us to want to eat together.

Issue is that it that it involves:

  1. Cleaning the dishes
  2. (sometimes) Going to the groceries store
  3. Cooking the food
  4. (sometimes) downloading a movie
  5. Eating the food

It’s just a big time drain. Also, since it’s the morning, we just woke up, we have a higher likelihood of disagreeing on something and having an argument as a result.

Even if we order food instead, it takes time to wait for the food. It’s at least 1 hour and a half anyway, and there’s always a chance we end up watching something and me not being able to gather the self-control to go to work.

TL;DR: eating together in the morning sounds like a good idea, but in practice, it doesn’t work well.

Bug 2.c: my girlfriend wants me to do

Scenario: it’s been 3 days, and I still didn’t take care of doing the laundry/dishes/taking the trash out…!

Right in the most sensitive part of the day, my girlfriend reminds me about it.

(the reason why I’m doing it, is because, if I let her do the chore, I feel like she’s going to resent me)

This is obviously interfering with my work. The issue is not the chore itself, but rather, the argument that will inevitably happen as a result.

I decided to do one chore each morning in my routine to fix this kind of issue. This way, I won’t end up freeloading many days in a row + I’ll really do anything she wants, as long as she lets me pick the time.

I think that I don’t mind doing chores, but I just need to be warned in advance. I don’t like having to do a chore last minute, under pressure.

Honestly, I’m not sure if there is a real definitive solution there.

There is just too many moving parts. Being too strict could trigger an argument (i.e., “I am following my morning routine, no, I don’t want to go out or eat with you”).

I think the only way this could work is to ask her to help me.

Have an open discussion about it, where both of us compromise a little to make each other happy.

Something along the lines of:

Hey baby, I need to talk to you about something.

I would like to have a stricter morning routine, that helps me get to the office faster and get work done earlier.

This way, I can have money to pay for rent for both of us

Please, can you help me in the morning to do it?

I want to do only three things:

1. Put some clothes on
2. Prepare my work bag
3. Clean the house a little

For eating in the morning, I'm just going to order food or not eat, it's easier this way.
While the food is coming from Grab, I can start organizing my day, answer emails, do Beeminder tasks...

I'll try to leave as soon as possible, and come back at 8pm everyday so we can spend time together in the evening.
We can watch a movie, plan a date, cook, etc... But in the evening, we cannot do administrative stuff.
If we want to do administrative stuff, we need to do it at the office, because home is for relaxing.

In the morning, I'll do one house chore each day, like cleaning the dishes, folding the laundry, etc.
So if you want me to do something specific, just let me know, I don't mind as long as you tell me in advance.
If you don't tell me anything, I'll pick something by myself.

I think it’s worth a try.

Actually, I could just send her this blog post… She can read it on the way back from her hometown.

Bug 3: I can’t wake up

Very often, in the morning, I end up not really wanting to wake up.

I just stay there, in the bed. My alarm rings, I snooze it. Three times in a row.

Issue is that I consistently loose 30 minutes, and I’m pretty sure the sleep I get is not worth the time.

When the alarm rings, I better actually wake up. Staying in the bed is just loosing time for no reason.

Solution

Solution A: willpower

Yesterday, before going to sleep, I made a pinky promise with myself that the next time the alarm rings, I’ll wake up immediately. And it worked.

I think there is some kind of programmable part in our mind; I can say “when X happens, I’ll do Y”, and somehow, it works as a habit breaker.

The issue with this solution is that I need to consistently make pinky promises with myself before going to bed, and I just don’t think about doing it.

Maybe I can just chain the pinky promises?

I’ll make one right now: “When I’m in the bed, and ready to sleep, I’ll make a pinky promise to stand up as soon as my alarm rings”

Or maybe I can make this pinky promise right now? “I’ll wake up next time my alarm rings”.

I’ll try option 1, since it’s good to refresh the memory over the course of the day, and I’m not sure how much time a pinky promise is effective in my mind.

… Ok, just did it, let’s see if it works.

Thinking about it, it’s easier to make pinky promises with myself rather than setting up elaborate Beeminder goals, alarms and reminders…

Maybe I could create an elaborate system of pinky promises?

Solution B: electric shock

There is a bracelet out there that gives you electric shocks unless you stand up and do some squats, to wake you up.

I know this is a bit on the crazy side, but at this point, I don’t really care… My girlfriend will think I’m weird, She knows very well how hard it is for me to wake up in the morning. (Apparently, I look like a “dead fish”) So maybe she’ll like it, actually.

I just really don’t feel like owning yet another piece of technology, though. I actually want to do the opposite in my life; have less and less stuff technological stuff.

Solution C: alarm clock that hurts

I could get an alarm clock that I put in a place that’s hard to reach.

When it rings, I’ll have to stand up to turn it off.

The risk is that I will plunge back into the bed, but it’s worth a try.

Bug 4: emergencies

Recently, my girlfriend got reject for her visa application. I help her do it. Actually, I write all the letters, and pick the supporting documents. She usually amends, prints and organize stuff.

It’s dramatic. She’s really sad, needs emotional support. I feel bothered, because I won’t be able to get anything done for two days.

We both feel bad because we feel like our work got wasted. It takes a lot of energy to prepare an application, and it’s disheartening when it gets thrown out just like that by the embassy, for foggy reasons.

This emotional turmoil breaks our routine and heavily disrupts my work.

Solution: embrace it

If time is of essence… the best I can do is to work on it right now.

Take a deep breath, inform everybody:

“sorry, I won’t be available for the next two days”.

Order some nice food. Sushi?

Quit all the apps on my laptop.

Start working on it. Be it VISA, wedding, travel plans…

The most important part: take breaks. Treat it exactly like work. Once I’m home, I should be home, enjoying my time with my girlfriend.

It’s better to not book an appointment for the next day, but rather, in 2 days. This gives us enough time to polish the application, make sure everything is fine.

I’m pretty sure I’m aging faster every time I do a visa application because I keep forcing myself to do stuff super fast.

Bug 5: forgetting about my morning routine

When my girlfriend goes to another city for a few days and I’m left alone, I remember that, hey, having a morning routine is actually super good for productivity. I start doing it and feel super productive. I feel like I’m making progress.

When she comes back, I try to hold on to it, but invariably, it fails, and I forget I even had a morning routine in the first place.

At first, I try to resist. But it just doesn’t work with time. It’s not because of my girlfriend that it breaks, it’s just due the inherent unpredictability of living with someone else.

At some point, if everything is unpredictable, and there is always something breaking my routine, why even bother…? That’s the psychological reason of why I give up.

My mindset, after a few days, is just:

“I’m gonna sleep as much as I can. Then, wake up, take as much time as I want. Then go to work, and work until late in the morning if I feel like it. Then, I’m gonna sleep as much as I can…”

As a result, I end up with a crazy bad sleep schedule and a frustrated girlfriend because I’m not going to bed and waking up at the same time…

(To be clear, I don’t think I would be better off without her. I would likely be depressed and self-sabotage myself. She actually helps me get more work done, so really, I don’t blame her for anything. I just want to improve myself.)

Solution

It’s going to be a Beeminder goal

I’m thinking that I should create a Beeminder goal that forces me to periodically review this post.

Or maybe, a Beeminder goal that forces me to write about “How to improve my morning routine?”

I could create a special section in this blog, where I log my morning routines. The times, the problems, what worked, what didn’t work…

So, we know that the solution is going to be a Beeminder goal.

How frequent?

Counter-intuitively, maybe, I should start very heavy, like once every two days.

The reason is that, at first, I will need to force myself to uphold the routine.

But with time, I’ll only need a “booster shot” once in a while.

So, I decided: once every 2 days at first, and then, once every week. And then, maybe, once every 2 weeks?

What action to take?

I’m going to write a blog post, because there is a nice RSS Beeminder integration that will really force me to write, and it’ll make more content here I can look back at.

I think it’ll be nice to also have some kind of log of the evolution of my morning routine, so I can look back at it and pick what worked. It’s like a commit history of my life. When did I feel the most productive? When did I feel the most happy? What was I doing at this time?

I could think of this blog as a tool for logging my life, that I can look back on. There is no need to talk about intimate or sensitive stuff. I could talk about stuff I would tell a friend or family. Like my struggles with visas. And anyway, it’s not like anybody is going to be looking at this blog…

I’ll have two tasks:

  1. Figure out how to create a dedicated RSS feed for my morning_routines
  2. Create a Beeminder goal for it.

A philosophy of life: improving each hour, step by step

Life is made to be lived in the moment.

Once in a while, ask yourself: “would I rather fast-forward this moment?”

If your answer is “yes” very often, it means that you’re not really satisfied with your life. (or at least I believe so, I heard it on a podcast)

I think the solution is to improve life hour by hour, starting with the first hour, waking up. Or rather, the first hour should be when going to sleep.

I think that answering these questions will lead me to a happier lifestyle – one where I don’t want to fast-forward.

Sometimes, simple stuff can make big changes. Putting calm music in the evening… Working on easy tasks in the morning. Putting energetic music. Treating myself to nice food once in a while, if money allows.

(or take the opposite approach: just do whatever you feel like doing at this exact moment. Maybe I could act like this on the weekends?)

Actions to take

  1. Setup a Beeminder goal called write_morning_routine
  2. Show this blog post to my girlfriend
  3. Use willpower to wake up early next time
  4. Put a post-it on my phone tonight
  5. Turn off my laptop when going to sleep
  6. Put my phone on airplane mode before going to sleep.

#morning_routine